So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
