me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
