My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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