You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize