Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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