Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
