But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
