Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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