Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
