I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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