I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
