just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
