ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize