She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
