just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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