there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
