Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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