youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
