Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
