i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
