You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
