you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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