those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My vagina just clenched in fear
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
