I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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