Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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