so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
