I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
4 words: hood of his car
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The power of my boobs compel you
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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