im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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