you traded sex for a burrito?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
