Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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