just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize