And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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