Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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