I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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