I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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