just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The feeling are messing with the penis
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
