mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
