I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
