a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just want nice things and good sex
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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