he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
