I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
