That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
