remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize