dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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