just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
