so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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