i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
