ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
