I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
