the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize