4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
