He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Everything about him screamed your future.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
