True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
