Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
