i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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