Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
