Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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